Give As Good As You Get or Get As Good As You Give?

Give As Good As You Get or Get As Good As You Give?

The following question was posed, “Thoughts on cursing at work, most of us do it, some more than others. BUT is it really ok?”

Some of the responses included the following (italics):

A: “Personally, I have no issue with it. I generally find people who curse to be EXTREMELY genuine. But I do know it rubs some people wrong and I do want people to feel comfortable around me. While it does depend on the culture, I find people who curse to be real straight shooters which I like.”

B: “I wouldn’t curse in front of someone I don’t know well – and especially not if they wouldn’t be ok with the language. That being said, there seems to be a lot of judgement going on in these comments. I respect 100% people who don’t curse but can’t get behind calling people who do immature adolescents

C: “Personally, cursing makes me feel uncomfortable.  I’m likely to disassociate myself from you if you use foul language.”

D: “I am curious C, would you ask the person to refrain? Or just disassociate?”

E: “Losing your cool and cursing is like having a temper tantrum for grown-ups. Not cool. Learn how to express yourself with other words. There is nothing intrinsic to the human experience with foul language just stop.”

As the focus of the Timeless Teaching posts is to help you raise your child let us consider this…

Culture contributes but you are part of the culture.  You contribute by what you model and what you tolerate.

In my experience I have had people apologize to me for using foul language in speaking to someone else, stating they didn’t realize I was there. I have had people only apologize for using foul language in front of my unborn child, again stating they did not realize I was there.  On the whole people do not use foul language in front of me when they do realize I am present even when the office culture was one of using foul language otherwise.  I don’t think it is because they felt they couldn’t be “real” in front of me as they were quite comfortable sharing very personal and intimate details of their lives.  I took it as sign of respect, for they knew I never cursed and they responded in kind.

I am not here to tell you how to speak.  The point is this, too often we disrespect our children by having a double set of standards and disrespect our self by behaving in a way that is not becoming, a way in which we would be downright insulted if someone else behaved toward us in that fashion.  Child education 101 dictates that you be a good role model.  Of course, there are certain privileges that an adult has that a child does not. However, are you driving the way you want your child to drive when they are older?  Are you treating your child the way you want your child to treat their children? Are you treating your self the way you would want others to treat you?  Do you allow yourself appropriate breaks during the work day? Do you give yourself enough sleep and talk to your self kindly?

The maxim to “Love Others as you Love Yourself” requires that you first love yourself.  Love includes respect.

Do you speak to your children with respect or is that something you reserve for “important” people (sending the message to your children that they are unimportant and that it is acceptable to disrespect another person)?

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