While we are on the topic of listening, it is important to pay attention to what your self-talk sounds like.
Have you ever noticed how a fly gravitates to rot? It is for this reason that we don’t want flies around us or our food, we don’t want them spreading their unhealthy rot to us.
You may not even realize you are your own worst fly buzzing around in your head. It really is not your fault that garbage is there. It was left there by others. Perhaps they were even well intentioned and meant to help you improve. Unfortunately, you have naïvely been mimicking their negativity.
What is holding you back from being your best self? If you listen carefully your inner voice will tell you.
Is your inner fly saying you are too_____________ (lazy, impulsive, poor, ugly, dumb) to achieve success? Or that, you can’t even try because _____________. Listen carefully and fill in the blank.
It is time to clean out the rot. Just grab a broom and start sweeping. Grab some bleach and start scrubbing away.
There may or may not be truth to that negative voice but avoid gross generalizations. Are you always lazy or impulsive? Are you the ugliest person? Can you look nicer if you take the time to dress and/or groom differently? If there are some times when you do better than others know that you are human. Take charge of your life and decide what you want to focus on. Don’t let someone else dictate that you need to look prettier unless you are repulsing people. Don’t let someone else dictate that you are too lazy and prioritize and choose what you want to invest your time and energy in. Then figure out how to motivate yourself to follow through on your choices.
Truth be told I am one of the laziest people. I just use that laziness to motivate myself. In keeping with that old adage, “a stitch in time saves nine” I plan how to get the job done with the least amount of work. I have no problem leaving a sink full of dirty dishes overnight, because it will be easier to clean if left soaking. On the other hand, certain dishes are easier to clean if they are washed immediately. I don’t waste time drying things so they can be put away. Rather I let them sit out drying and put them away later. Anyone who sees how I run my kitchen and chooses to judge me and try to dictate that I must run my kitchen per their “box” no longer gets to buzz around in my head. I have reframed with the following more positive thoughts… 1) If they were smart they would ask me why I do things the way I do instead of assuming they are smarter than me and know better. 2) I have now made them feel better about themselves since they either think “I’m okay with my housekeeping, other people don’t have perfectly kept houses either” or “I’m better than her, my house would never look like that!”
It took me years to learn that I am now an adult and can take care of my own inner child, that I can choose what lives in my head, that I can overwrite the negative script with positivity. My laziness brings out my innovativeness. In my book, that is a positive.
What positive qualities do you have? What sunshine can you focus onto your inner landscape to brighten it? You need those qualities and tools to help you work on those traits you would like to improve.